I lovely friend sent us something they had found truly helpful, after the death of their partner. It changed things for me too, so maybe it’s a thing.
MyLegoman creates a ‘Foodie Day’s’ Calendar each year. It’s bright and fun, as well as genuinely interesting. The reason I’ve found it helpful in grief, is that for little effort I feel I can still make a meal or a day ‘fun’.
Being ‘fun’ is one of the hardest parts of parenting while bereaved. I want the kids to have their old Mum back, the one who was always striving to make everything exciting and meaningful. Adding mango juice to the shopping list and celebrating ‘Mango Day’ is about as good as it gets now. What’s amazing, is that it seems enough.
The kids are genuinely excited by having a special dessert, even if it’s a pretty ordinary frozen offering on ‘Pavlova Day’. I think they appreciate the effort, knowing it’s not what I would normally do, but that it’s more than I probably felt able to. They also help checking the calendar and choosing which days are the ones we might like.
With picky eaters, making food something fun is an added bonus, it’s often a battle ground. I hadn’t appreciated that more lightness at the dinner table would also be a balm. It doesn’t mean we try a whole lot of new foods, but perhaps a few, you certainly could use it for that purpose.
Supporting kids after trauma is exhausting, if you are also impacted directly by the trauma then it’s exponentially crap. Small, achieveable, things like this can make a real difference. It does not have to cost more money, or even more great effort, it’s a regular and easy way to make life feel more like living.
I recommend it.