Blue Monday is all a load of bollocks. Ups and downs are completely normal in life, let alone in grief. Blue Monday was actually a very fancy marketing ploy by the travel industry…
Brew Monday is rather lovely, it’s run by The Samaritans to focus on how we can help each other by having a cuppa (something we heavily promote on here!) and checking in.
Ups and Downs
If Ups are Sunny Days, then Downs (before hitting rock bottom) are Cloudy Days. We have a planner for both which you can download for free, links above. It’s very normal for grief to be a roller coaster, and your good and bad days to be quite unpredictable. While Blue Monday might not be a helpful focus, there are some things that can help with Cloudy Days.
Remember that some things can work one day and not another, but should stay in your ‘kit’. Some things work for some people and not others, and that’s OK too. Being open to new ideas, trying things at different times or having another go with a different person can all be worth the trial.
Things to Try…
- Figure out if you can ‘take the day’. Maybe you can change appointments, book a mental health day, get someone to help with the school run and just give yourself a break? Most of us can’t do it everyday, but sometimes it becomes essential.
- Decide if it’s better to stay in bed/pjs, or get up and have a shower. If you’re heading towards Stormy Days, then getting up can be really important. If you just need one day of rest, then be a sloth and embrace it.
- Treat yourself in a small way – a hot chocolate with all the trimmings, a sticker for doing the washing up, watching that rubbish show that makes you laugh. If finances allow, you can go as treaty as you feel helpful.
- Get some fresh air. Even if you’ve opted for pjs, open a window or door for a blast of the good stuff. Or have a cuppa or lunch outside in the garden.
- Acknowledge that just because one day feels ‘blue’, that doesn’t mean the next day will.
- Try and do or plan something that has a nice result in the future. Book a meet up, plant something, get ingredients ready for when you may feel like cooking.
- Look after your body, even if your mind isn’t on board. Eat something healthy, cut your toe nails, book a hair cut, drink some water etc.
- Ask for support, this might be from a friend or a professional. Call a helpline if you feel talking would bring a moment of release.
- Allow yourself to cry. Being ‘blue’ isn’t a bad thing, sitting with our feelings, whatever they are is important.
- Find an alternative awareness day that makes you feel good. While I use them a lot to help myself and my family, some of them are rubbish. We like the food ones, you can look up My Legoman to see the planner we have in the kitchen.